Friday, April 30, 2010

silence speaks louder.


Since every change requires some sacrifice, if our goals don’t resonate deeply with our morals and values, if other priorities work against our goals, or if we believe we will fail, we will not feel that the sacrifice is worth making, and we will fail to maintain the change. All my life I've been living with the great belief that trusts i have in everything i do will help me guide the way i'm leading for. trust and a very hard effort brings me to a stage where i learn to never ever let the negative side of everything pull me down. I'm a die-hard-fan of belief in takdir and qada' and qadar. i work for it. seems if it is not for me, let it go. obviously, I'm not perfect. sometimes i do questions for what comes around. sometimes i knew it was me for all the burden of problems on my shoulders. still Allah knows everything better. He set this and that for me but disagreement yet to occur. some other time after i repented not to repeat the same mistake i forgot to think wisely before i began to mumbling and annotated.

Sometimes when i try to make significant changes in my life, i find myself drifting back to my old behaviors time and time again. This is baffling. here i give you a condition, that, we have a goal that we know we want to achieve, but for some reason, we keep sabotaging our plans. It’s as if there’s a force of desire within us to maintain our old ways that are overwhelmingly stronger than our force of desire to change. Since all change requires sacrifice, change can only be sustained if we believe that the benefits of the change outweighs the sacrifice. so this is it. varies your perspectives and think realistically. this is what i'm trying myself hard. as the truth is, when we believe we have set our mind to change, then its fail, it is not because me myself or anyone-who-think-they-are-related-to-this are so dumb and incapable but because we have not truly deeply set our mind into the goal. indeed, still Allah knows better. He is the judge and let Him make the decision whether that thing worth us or not. after all, we have done our best and hikmah is laying underneath.

i have my own dreams and so do you. endure with it. just make sure the steps taken are necessary and it is the right path. may we're always guided by HIM.insyaAllah.


Saturday, April 24, 2010

the melody changes


"Honestly. You know it. When I say it breaks my heart to talk like that. But sometimes, I don't know what happens, I just can't control my feelings. Or all that bottled up pain and hurt... that usually, whenever sometime 'tiny' happens, I think, 'look, its a miniscule detail, it doesn't matter.' if i had a chance, just one chance to go back and fix what i did wrong in life, would i take it? and if i did, would i am big enough to stand it? i shall resume to a normal me.And that one person of me is ever so worth being herself for."

Friday, April 23, 2010

when rainbow dish out


It took me a whole lot of effort not to just stand up and walk away.
Obviously you would have known that a long time ago. The focus goes with the waves, up, down, up, down. At times it gets volatile, the motion gets rather rough, and you're left wondering. Well, most of the times. learning is a part of my life. and i'm thankful for everything ar-Rahman gave me as a pinjaman sementara. final exam result was came out last 4 days.and.and, alhamdulillah for the Dean's list.and, im not dreaming. =)


ok.i'm doing this.


1. adakah anda rasa anda HOT??

erkk?.no lah.i'm a warm person. haha.

2. upload wallpaper pc/laptop yang anda guna sekarang!

3. Cerita pasal gambar.

Got it from deviantart. and now i'm using my only sister's laptop. so ask her why she choose that picture.haha. XD

4. Bila kali terakhir anda makan pizza?

when ya? em.last year maybe.haha.nasi has better taste and yum..yum.. XD

5. Lagu terakhir anda dengar?

lagu terakhir.em. a korean song by a korean singer. Lee Seung Chul-can you hear me.

6. Apa yang anda buat selain menyelesaikan tag ini?

i'm looking at my sister's face and we're smiling (adik awin is now sitting beside me) as i really dunno what i'm doing except online-ing. XD

7. Selain nama sendiri, anda dipanggil nama apa?

Nurul-by my families. =) i love this nickname.

Kaklong-by my only sister, adik awin and sometimes by Umi and Ayah instead of Nurul =)

Kimotte-by my mummy Herlina and some of my schoolmates.

Kimi-by most of my friends.

kakak-my roommates as they said i'm always behave like a kakak for them. kakak mithali eh? ahah~

and yes, akrimi or nurul akrimi.. because it's my name lah! call my name and i look at you. =)

8. Tag lagi 8 orang need kot. as everyone has been tagged by the same person. so,takyah lah. hehe.and the rest of questions specially for the-one-who-will-be-tagged tak wujud. hehe.

9. Berikan 5 yang anda tau orang yng mentag anda

as chaa and imah gave me the same tag so, here we come the lists..

chaa-very adorable with all the cute expressions she makes, funny but she can be strict sometimes, loves cute-cute things and i loves to belek-belek things she has,hehe ,she makes a good shot in every picture she took and may DSLR be yours later =), and she has a huge family with 10 siblings! the more the merrier ^^

imah- everyone should know that she's one year younger than me and imah proud with still a 'adik' title, haha, imah is my roomate in UIA Gombak last semester and she's going to be my girl-nextdoor next sem, she's into korean songs, movies, and dramas with full heart this lately XD, she loves photography and she loves to take her own pictures as you may find it in her sony ericsson h/p, and last but not least, she has her own white Myvi which she used to take us for a rides and anytime when we want to go to lectures.

10. Persamaan antara kambing dan lembu

both are animals and they are mammals with tail.

11. Perasaan anda wat tag ni

with focus.ahah.and.and cam seronok je. ^^

12. Adakah anda tahu si razman itu sengal?

oh?who's this? chaa and imah please tell me who's this.


aiyarkk.i'm normal.naudzubillah.

alright people.i'm done! =)

did you hear me?


the great thing about holiday is i often forget to blog. i'm too lazy to switch on the laptop plus holiday means my body need rest..also because my holiday usually are keep busy with me either sleeping without limitation, chauffeuring my only sister to do our shopping when money is like berkepuk-kepuk (normally window shopping and we did lots of books+novels+magazines-shopping) haha, and bla..bla..


holiday doesn't means bermalas-malasan for every single seconds until the end. the fact is it doesn't. starting from the last nearly 4 weeks of holiday i only staying at my home (ayah's house is mine too kan?) hehe,for about 5-6 days until today. uh-oh, im staying at my aunt's house and, and being a great nurse to my old granny in Kelantan. =).she's sick the age of 97, the possibility is bigger right.and, and she keep telling me signs and more signs that yeah you-know-what..that she's going to go from us far far away as she said she has another life waiting.huhu.sedihnye..

and im just arrived from kelantan last two days ago.and i'm thinking of going back visit my granny again soon..

so,yes people. testing..testing 1 2 3..
i'm coming! haha XD